I know all this self-hatred and shame is not good for my mental health and I really want to find some sort of peace about it but honestly do not feel I could sit across from someone and talk about it face to face, that's how ashamed I feel. But then I feel rotten about it, like an evil person and I think that if people 'knew' no one would ever speak to me again. Those were some powerful orgasms for sure.
I am 68 years old, and I still feel horribly ashamed of my past forays into 'bestiality.' Honestly, sometimes when I recall the experience, I feel like a monster, like I am some sort of subhuman. No shit! He was a good guy.īut I digress. He even made a little joke about me and the little poodle at the pearly gates. Luckily my therapist was a very gentle gay man and he was not shocked, he was very accepting, and he assured me that I was not a pervert and that I would still go to heaven when I died. I guess I felt I needed to confess to someone. It bothered me so much that I talked to a therapist about it. I indulged myself a time or two but felt so horribly ashamed that I actually gave the dog away and never ever indulged again. Years later, as a very horny and very frustrated 20-something, I again found myself with a cute little pet who was only too happy to lick me.
